


A Snowbaz Crack Fic

by AlixxBlack



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Baz loves Simon, Crack Fic, M/M, That is It, agatha is grumpy, idk what i wrote, its a crack fic, penny saves the day, simon is tired of his shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:35:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22026439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlixxBlack/pseuds/AlixxBlack
Summary: Simon runs a rehabilitation facility that forces mythical beings into rehabilitation to teach them how to live peacefully with their respective afflictions, and Baz can't work there anymore because he breaks the rules. Agatha finds him wandering the premises and brings him to Simon for some consequences, but mostly Simon just face palms because Baz is just being Baz, per the usual.(This summary doesn't do this crack fic any justice and I'm sorry)
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 1
Kudos: 25





	A Snowbaz Crack Fic

“Hey, boss,” Penny called when Simon entered the main hall. She always had something new to discuss with Simon, and that day was no exception. Her eagerness never went unnoticed, especially when she had good news. “We were able to contain five vampires this weekend, and have identified a wolf pack community just north of London. The numbers and resources are in our favor, so I think we could get a seven-day plan in the works.”

“Nice,” Simon said. He always said ‘nice’ to Penny’s plans because, at the end of the day, she was the brains of not just ‘the’ operation, but  _ every _ operation. The Monster Order would not exist if it weren’t for Penny, despite the idea being Simon’s. He had come up with the idea of forcibly rehabilitating monsters after he realized that one of the most notorious villains of all time, The Insidious Humdrum, was actually him the whole time. It wasn’t his choice to be that way, and the same is true many of the monsters lurking in the shadows.

“Also, Agatha,” Penny started very softly.

“Ugh,” Simon groaned. Agatha was one of Simon’s least favorite people. He let her stay because she needed to belong somewhere, and Penny does a great job of being kind to her, but she is a painful reminder of some of the hardest years of his life. Also, she made things really weird between them by being attracted to Baz at a time when Simon couldn’t have hated him more if he tried.

“Agatha said she found  _ him _ lurking around the building, so she is bringing him up any minute note,” Penny had finished, a bit in a rush, too, because she knew that Simon was going to grumble and groan about it.

Which, he did, but only briefly. Agatha hadn’t wasted any time getting to the main hall once worse had travelled that Simon was back at headquarters.

Simon rolled his eyes before he sat down, and just waited for Agatha to vocalize her complaint. Which also took no time. She was practically shouting it as soon as she could see Simon covering his face in defeat.

“He’s been told he’s not allowed on the premises! Dozens of times! I don’t understand why he hasn’t been penalized for breaking the rules!”

Penny attempted to interrupt her, “We’ve been over this, Agatha…”

But Agatha had a bad habit of needing to say her piece before she was receptive of anything else anyone had to say. She waved Penny off and kept going. “Just because this baboon goes home with you, he has violated the most simple of rules we have in place to ensure the recovery of the monsters in our detention center!”

Simon groaned, “I know. That’s why we fired him.”

“I still disagree with your decision,” the man said with a smile.

Agatha groaned. “That’s not enough! He needs punishment for continuing to sneak onto the property. He’s undermining everything that you’re trying to do!”

Simon shared a look with Penny, who shrugged, and then let his gaze settle over the man Agatha had drug in with her. It was a man he knew all too well… Literally…

It was Baz.

Baz Pitch, his boyfriend. Well, he  _ was _ Simon’s boyfriend.

“I just wanted to come by and make sure you still wanted to marry me, is all. And to make sure you were wearing the ring, you know, since you’re embarrassed to be engaged to a gay vampire boy who wears leather jackets and cocky frowns,” he mocked, staring directly at Simon’s left hand to ensure that the ring he’d proposed to the red-headed mob boss with only days prior. It was definitely there, and Baz had known it would be, but he liked to cause trouble.

Penny stepped in and tried to control the situation by changing the subject, only slightly. “I think that this calls for a proper celebration. How about we move this conversation to the pub up the street and celebrate such happy news?”

Agatha groaned before stomping out of the hall. Once Baz was sure that she was gone, he went up to Simon’s chair and plopped himself in his lap. Simon moved his hand from his forehand to Baz’s knee in defeat. “Was this really necessary?”

Baz grinned. “Yes.”

“No.” Penny and Simon agreed simultaneously.

“Fine,” Baz agreed, tossing his hands up to feign his loss at their joined forces. “So, are we going out for drinks or what?”

Penny smiled first, fully committed to the idea from the second she’d said it, but Simon always needed more convincing. At least he would have needed more under persuasion any other circumstance, but he had to admit - getting engaged was probably the happiest part of his entire life. There was no harm in celebrating it so he agreed, and they went off with Baz leading the pack, mocking Agatha the whole way there.


End file.
